Conversation beyond Monogamy

Love is a project. We just need the right KPIs

Intimacy as once my grandmother knew when she was going on a date night with my grandfather, is not the same anymore. Love, whether it’s platonic, romantic, or purely sexual, does not work anymore, as, for the new generation, the connection is much more than the definitions we are all used to.

Over the past decades, more and more youngsters back up from the word “love” and “marriage”, referring to those unhappily married couples they used to have dinner with, every single day. And even though, we are the we-don’t-blame-anyone generation, there is still the fear of losing the game of 2, just because we can’t decide the conundrum of choosing the one. So in fact, what’s monogamy? And how come we are all trapped by this term?

Monogamy refers to a relationship that includes only 1 partner at a time. Monogamous relationships can be sexual, emotional, and both. The word monogamy derives from the Greek μονός, monos (“alone”), and γάμος, gamos (“marriage”).

The term “monogamy” may be referring to one of the various relational types, depending upon the context. Generally, there are four overlapping definitions.

• marital monogamy refers to marriages of only two people.
• social monogamy refers to two partners living together, having sex with each other, and cooperating in acquiring basic resources such as shelter, food, and money.
• sexual monogamy refers to two partners remaining sexually exclusive with each other and having no outside sex partners.
• genetic monogamy refers to sexually monogamous relationships with genetic evidence of paternity.

But even with all of these definitions, one thing seems to be as clear as day: Monogamy is a choice and follows up with a bunch of responsibilities. Further down the rabbit hole, it seems that the term has a deeper meaning. Referring to the psychologist Jordan Peterson’s interview on “Enforced Monogamy”, he states, Enforced monogamy is a rational solution for today’s society. According to the NY Times article, by Nellie Bowles, He agrees that this is inconsistent. But preventing hordes of single men from violence, he believes, is necessary for the stability of society. Enforced monogamy helps neutralize that.

What he says, might be rational. In fact, in a world where there is no right or wrong and every-voice-needs-be-heard, there might be a slight accuracy. But, what if all this monogamy-buzz is the system and the driving force of a modern man and any slight change from the “program” may crash the system.

And what if we are not born monogamous. In fact, maybe what you feel is much more important than who you feel it with?

I don’t know about society, but this question surely crashed my system. The one that I’ve built and the one, in which I believed for so many years. And as I don’t have to ask and investigate that kind of question, the only source of my inspiration is my friends. Recently, I had this talk with a friend of mine, who insisted, that if you are open to the world, everybody can be your soulmate.

-I believe in the process of creating a soulmate, he stated with confidence, and I couldn’t agree more, considering all the situation he is going through.

-It’s not a soulmate, it’s a project,- I claimed with a proud look on my face as if I just resolved the issue of the decade.

Though it may sound simple and quote-worthy, there could be accuracy in what I said.

Maybe eventually, Love is nothing but a project, and if you are smart enough to identify the right target audience, objectives, strategy, and milestones, it could possibly turn into a successful case study? For that, to happen, we need good market research and the KPI are the words “I’ve finally found”, rather than “I Love You”.