The mermaid turned into a princess, only this time, the prince didn’t make it to the shore.

“Never again” was a phrase I used when describing my first attempt at becoming a chef…and the second, the third, and the last one. It’s already 2 months since I’m trying to change my expertise, even though my kitchen, aka a giant safe for the wine opener, has only 1 function- to just be there for my morning coffee.

I was never that girl, who had a recipe book packed up with thousands of “ways to reach to the man’s heart” and honestly, I couldn’t care less. Moreover, at some point in my life, I decided that I’m a good eater, in fact, an incredible one and I really enjoyed my position. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I didn’t love the kitchen. I did. It was the best and the most beautiful place to write, to chill, to think and you know…

My life was suddenly a shit and as I my mind was preoccupied with a relationship problem, I needed something that would keep my hands off from dialing his number. So I decided that opening a small bakery downtown might be a much more rational choice, than running a magazine or opening a vinyl store. My road to becoming the next Gorden Ramsey forced me to give up on the vinyl, on writing, and at some point on the real me.

Being that girl was a choice that I’ve made and there was nothing powerful and inspiring in that. Maybe it was not the road leading to the man’s heart, but it was one of the roads to the approval I desired… or at least, I thought so. I was so obsessed with the words “I’m proud of you” that I forgot how much it would mean to me if it was about me, sitting on the rug and writing “The End” for my next story.

It took me exactly 10 recipes to give up on the big dream and accept that maybe I was that girl for someone else and maybe that someone else would love my faults.

“Never again” was a phrase I used, when describing my relationship with the love of my life. And for this case, the phrase finally worked. I never really needed to step into the same river. The mermaid turned into a princess, only this time, the prince didn’t make it to the shore.

I guess sometimes you can actually step into the same river twice as anything is possible. Or so we tell ourselves.